Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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