gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
