at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
