Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He has the fingertips of a God
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
