please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we're making bets on your personal life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
