I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
