I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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