i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
