with your own penis?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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