the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
