forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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