Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
