I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
