she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
