Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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