I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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