I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
