he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
