I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My ass is underappreciated
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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