Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
