Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
