His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
