If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
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ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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