I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize