We won't sleep together?
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
