It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
