Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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