I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
