Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
