Don't you send me to vm
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
