Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize