Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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