is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
