Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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