just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
