Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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