Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
