stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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