dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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