he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
