And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
