I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
