**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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