two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
