Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
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