Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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