I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
