That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
