I got chris browned last night
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize