And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
