id be glad to
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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