i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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