I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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