Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
