I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
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I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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