Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
