i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize