Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
