ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
