just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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