Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize