Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
