At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
